Jimmy Olsen Works for ISO
Earnest, dedicated and clueless: that’s the personality summed up by Superman’s pal and cub reporter Jimmy Olsen. It was also the image we projected onto ISO’s “legal advisor” Holger Gehring, who appears to have a poor grasp of legal concepts, but nevertheless runs headlong into danger hoping that ISO’s actual attorneys, like Superman, will save him if things get hot.
In an editorial pointing out how quality managers are trying to force their way into the C-suite, rather than use data and logic to convince their bosses of the importance of quality, we ran this altered image from The Shining.
Join the Gang!
For my editorial on bitcoin and blockchain, Paul Newman’s iconic chain gang movie came to mind.
As did this for the same article:
Frost Nukes ISO
In my report on Roger Frost’s icy turnabout against his former employer, ISO, I tweaked his official bio pic a bit to make it more accurate:
In this article on how CQI is promoting a subversive program to destroy ISO, a crosshair concept came to mind:
Bromance in the Air
This loving shot of two young men engaged in a bromantic walk down the aisle was a perfect illustration of how NQA promotes certain consultants who are (gasp!) just other NQA auditors.
This mutated image of the classic copyright symbol ran with my report on DNV-GL’s “flexible” view of using other people’s copyrighted materials:
Hey, Man, Fix Your Policies, Then!
ASQ was really, really pissed when I used their inane “QP Yourself!” campaign to add a hooded Klansman on the cover of Quality Progress. Let’s recap: ASQ refuses to denounce racism for months, then issues a statement tacitly supporting the inclusion of racists in its membership, and then puts up an online tool where you can photoshop any image you want onto the cover of Quality Progress. And they didn’t think this would happen? Where’s that risk-bsaed thinking they keep talking about?
Anyway, because ASQ was so upset about that one, I ran this instead when discussing how ASQ proceeded to host a speech on “culture” by someone openly called a “racist” and peddler of “hate messages” (by people other than me, by the way):
You Can’t Make a Revolution With Shitty Chinese Gloves You Bought Online
This next one ran after an ASQ member quoted Stalin in his anti-Oxebridge website. Based on their current membership policy, Stalin would be allowed into ASQ right now. So, there’s that.
Missed It By That Much!
This next one ran in the Oxebridge Report newsletter, alongside an article discussing why Quality professionals have to “get smart” about blockchain.
Twitter May Know A Little Too Much About ISO’s S-G
Not really a parody graphic, this one ran on the Oxebridge Twitter feed, pointing out how ISO Secretary-GeneralSergio Mujica’s newest follower was really asking him for “sex chat.” I’d love to see this guy’s browser history.
ISO Guarantees It’s Not A Guarantee!
Also over on the Oxebridge twit-feed, we ran this graphic showing how ISO is full of shit when it says ISO 9001 should not be seen as a “guarantee of quality.”
I’m afraid I didn’t make this one up, even though it’s the most outlandish image you’re likely to see on the Oxebridge site. Yes, that’s one sockpuppet vomiting rice on the head of another sockpuppet. And it’s part of an official video published by ISO explaining how standards get made. At least they went with puppet gastrointestinal disease, and not the obvious alternate route: “sometimes, when ISO and BSI love each other very much, they get together and want to make a standard…”
About Christopher Paris
Christopher Paris is the founder and VP Operations of Oxebridge. He has over 30 years' experience implementing ISO 9001 and AS9100 systems, and is a vocal advocate for the development and use of standards from the point of view of actual users. He is the author of Surviving ISO 9001:2015. He reviews wines for the irreverent wine blog, Winepisser.