At this point, ISO is basically writing my blog for me.

ISO has released an insultingly ridiculous video on how ISO standards are made, and because they apparently think you have the intellectual capacity of a 4-year old, they are using two sockpuppets — like the real kind, with hands shoved up the ass-ends of actual socks — explaining it to you.

And, get this: one of the puppets is named “Eye So Hungry.” Yes, they are relying on insulting Asian pidgin English to really hammer home the fact that they are absolutely tone deaf to today’s cultural environment. Recently, a restaurant in Iowa faced backlash when it named itself “Me So Hungry.” 

Of course, the video relies on the usual tropes that ISO standards are made by “experts,” ignoring the fact that they are actually made by whatever volunteers show up, and are willing to hand over their intellectual property rights for the sole use by ISO to generate revenue for itself. That means only consultants and registrars attend meetings, since their work on ISO committees is an investment they can recoup later through sales of related services. This, in turn, ensures ISO standards are written poorly and include overly complicated language, which then requires users to hire the authors to explain it all. No reasonable “expert” would ever participate in this scam.

The video is clever in its wording, too, saying that user comments are “considered” at the FDIS stage, and that then “all members vote on the draft.” In actuality, text at the FDIS stage is fixed, and cannot be changed. But ISO’s clever usage of the word “considered” is true: they don’t need to do anything with the comments, just allow the public to submit them. “Consideration” leaves the final decision to throw out every one of the comments, and still remain true.

At one point, one of the puppets vomits rice on the other one. I’m not kidding (click here to jump to the 4:55 mark, to see ISO’s puppets throwing up on each other.)

“Eye So Hungry” vomits rice on “Eye So.”

To see the video, click here, and feel free to comment. There’s already a lively debate started on the ISO YouTube page, and you should contribute.

Now we await the inevitable sequel, featuring “I So Horny.”

 

    About Christopher Paris

    Christopher Paris is the founder and VP Operations of Oxebridge. He has over 25 years' experience implementing ISO 9001 and AS9100 systems, and is a vocal advocate for the development and use of standards from the point of view of actual users. He is the author of Surviving ISO 9001:2015. He reviews wines for the irreverent wine blog, Winepisser.