This is Part V of our ongoing series where we look back at some recent editorial graphics that ran alongside Oxebridge posts. See Part I of this series here, Part II here, Part III here, Part IV here and Part V here.
American Society for Dead People
This graphic ran alongside a piece discussing how ASQ missed an opportunity to offer supplemental health insurance before the coronavirus pandemic hit.
International Organization for Superspreaders
There will be a lot of virus-related editorial images this time around, so strap in. This on was used in an article on ISO’s limited release of free standards during the quarantine.
Blame the Blamers
OK, this one got a few O-Fans wondering what the heck was going on. In an article on how a so-called “root cause expert” came up with a batty, kneejerk root cause for the coronavirus, this one was meant to represent a gross disparity between alleged roots and an actual thing.
A riff on the “scoops” from Soylent Green, this graphic ran alongside an article on how UKAS was protecting its staff from coronavirus, while refusing to do so for its certification bodies or their clients.
It Rubs the Lotion On Its Body
The plucky ne’er-do-wells at AQI held on to until the last minute to cancel the annual ISO 9000 Conference, as apparently their “risk-based thinking” was telling them that coronavirus would “one day disappear, like a miracle.” this graphic never appeared, though, since the article didn’t run.
More coronavirus graphics (I warned you), this one ran alongside a piece on how risk-based thinking failed entirely to predict or mitigate the pandemic.
It’s An Airplane, What Could Go Wrong?
AS9100 oversight bodies have taken a “meh?” attitude towards enforcement of accreditation rules, which is likely to result in aircraft or spacecraft disasters.
Check Your Bed For Horses
The thuggish posturing by a VP at the International Accreditation Service led to this Godfather-themed editorial graphic.
Billy Sprinkle, Tramp Extraordinaire
I shared my new obsession — videos of “Grand Theft Auto Roleplay” featuring petty thief Billy Sprinkle, while discussing the IAF’s claim that its competitors accreditations are “fake.” Never mind Oxebridge, just go watch the videos on this Twitch stream.
This next one rang alongside an op-ed on ASQ’s latest endeavor, a spinoff company called “ASQExcellence,” which looks a lot like a corporate shell game.
Big Brother is Gaslighting You
I love me some newspeak, so this one was used to illustrate just how weird it was when a TC 176 Chair said that ISO 9001 “doesn’t require inspection.”
This next graphic was developed for an op-ed called “Where Quality Bullshit Comes From,” but which wasn’t published. Yet.
Deaf, Dumb and Dumber
The regional accreditation group EA really, really doesn’t want to hear bad news, prompting this graphic.
Here’s A Tissue for Your Issues
A troll who had been harassing me for years finally revealed his true colors as a CQI toady from Kimberly Clark, the Kleenex manufacturer.
IQNet faces increasing problems as they remain wholly silent during the Quality Austria bribery scandal.
Yeah, it’s on the nose, but it worked.
The IAF Certsearch database continued to be a clusterfuck of unprecedented proportions as the alleged “sole source of truth” was found to have a significant number of erroneous entries and bad data.
Coronavirus Quality Institute
A consultant got caught reselling the free Oxebridge ISO 9001 template kit, prompting this article.
A Toxic Spill
My editorial “Why Annex L is Toxic to Industry” ran with this one.
International Accreditation Felons
This graphic ran alongside a piece on how the IAF could stop one illegal practice overnight, if it chose to.
When the AS9100 RMC refused to take up a formal complaint put to it, this on-the-nose graphic emerged.PEBCAK
Prosegur got hacked while having an ISO 27001 certificate. Awkward.
We got the reporting wrong, but when we thought Probitas had removed its Code of Conduct, the piece ran with this editorial graphic.
Vacation’s All I Ever Wanted
TC 176 likes its parties, but then tries to hide the photos afterward. We got ’em anyway.
Vacation, Had to Get Away
Did I mention that TC 176 likes its parties?
Stealth Mode Engaged
It took some digging — and hiring a real-life private detective — to find the names of real people behind the accreditation body UAF, but we managed it.
Deaf, Dumb and Dumberer
Maybe the earplug thing gets old, but so does having to report on IAF bodies ignoring evidence of accreditation violations.
OK, So Size Does Matter
When Probitas ruled that it’s okay for AS9100 auditors to falsify their aerospace resume, we padded the article with this graphic.
Speaking Ill of the Dead
One of ISO 9001’s official authors pissed on the grave of Deming by saying, “So what?” if the standard ignored his 14 Points.
I Want My Phone Call
BSI refused to explain how it certified a company that was found to have been involved in almost two decades of criminal aerospace fraud.
It’s From China, So You Know It’s Good
When my reporting got cited in a research paper on fake ISO 9001 certificates in China, it prompted this runalong graphic.
The self-accredited certificate mill American Global Standards insists it doesn’t know why there are people selling its services in Iran.
The G31000 certificate seller Alex Dali has had so many weird scandals, I can’t remember which one prompted this one. Oh, yeah, he invented a risk “maturity model” and later falsely claimed that ISO requires it.
About Christopher Paris
Christopher Paris is the founder and VP Operations of Oxebridge. He has over 30 years' experience implementing ISO 9001 and AS9100 systems, and is a vocal advocate for the development and use of standards from the point of view of actual users. He is the author of Surviving ISO 9001 and Surviving AS9100. He reviews wines for the irreverent wine blog, Winepisser.