Meet District Collector Dr. V. Vinod Kumar of the Indian district of Ananthapuramu. This fellow thought he’d display his utter stupidity at the same time as his penchant for fraud… I guess?
According to a news report from The Hindu news outlet, Dr. Kumar:
… sought the district heads of various departments to formulate an action plan for the development of the State in 2047, while chairing a training programme for ‘Vikasit Andhra @ 2047’ at the Collectorate, here on Saturday.
India is targeting the year 2047 as a sort of emergence as a first-world country, as it will be the nation’s 100-year anniversary since breaking free of British rule. Different regions and districts, as well as government offices, are doing various things to allegedly mark the occasion, few of which appear to have much chance of success. India’s level of social and governmental corruption is mind-boggling.
To show he’s serious about improving things, Dr. Kumar — who has been in his post since 2015 — made a curious demand. This, again, from The Hindu reporting (emphasis mine):
Mr. Kumar asked all district officers to develop plans at three levels — 100-day action plan, one-year plan, and ‘Vikasit Andhra @ 2047’ action plan. Officials were tasked with submitting the one-year plan immediately, and two others within a stipulated period. Five district officials participated in a State-level training programme for the ‘Vikasit Andhra’ action plan.
All 124 departments should thoroughly review and understand their assigned responsibilities, the Collector said. “A deadline of 24 hours has been set for all district officials to make necessary submissions of preliminary plans. All government offices must obtain the ISO 9001:2015 certificate by the end of the month,” he added.
Yes, you read that right. Dr. Kumar appeared on Saturday, August 17th, and told his 124 departments they needed to achieve ISO 9001 certification by August 31, just fourteen days later.
124 government departments, all certified to ISO 9001…in two weeks.
But don’t worry! India is the cradle of civilization when it comes to scams and fake certifications for everything under the sun. For 124 government agencies to get certified in that short a time period will be easy, since the overwhelming majority of ISO 9001 certification bodies in India are certificate mills, operating under the nose of the corrupt Modi government and the woefully incompetent Indian accreditation body, NABCB.
If I were an Indian, I would take all my money out of my bitcoin and Nvidia investments, and put them into printer ink suppliers like HP. Because a lot of printers are going to be spitting out a lot of fake ISO 9001 certs in the next few weeks.
Good job, Dr. Kumar! At this rate, you might be considered as the next ISO Secretary-General!
Christopher Paris is the founder and VP Operations of Oxebridge. He has over 35 years’ experience implementing ISO 9001 and AS9100 systems, and helps establish certification and accreditation bodies with the ISO 17000 series. He is a vocal advocate for the development and use of standards from the point of view of actual users. He is the writer and artist of THE AUDITOR comic strip, and is currently writing the DR. CUBA pulp novel series. Visit www.drcuba.world
Chris, this is hilarious while at the same time so, so sad. Based on his request, Mr. Kumar appears to be someone who is degreed and learned but at the same time, devoid of any practical experience or common sense.