hijackassMeet Ben Innes, the young Brit who thought it would be funny to take a selfie alongside Seif Eldin Mustafa, another man who just happened to be hijacking the airplane Innes was on, and threatening to blow it up with more than 60 people on board. Innes described it as the “selfie of a lifetime” and didn’t seem to understand that joking around with a hijacker might have resulted in everyone on board… you know, … dying. Such is the sacrifice for one’s art, or rather, one’s Instagram.

So of course it turns out that Innes is an ISO 9001 auditor, conducting audits for his employer TWMA in Aberdeen UK. And of course he’s also a certified Lead Auditor for OHSAS 18000, the health and safety standard. And of course he talks a lot of meaningless word-dropping about “risk” on his LinkedIn Profile:

As a auditor its essential that I, [sic] not only ensure the business risk is minimized by providing a program of objective review, but also drive improvement from within.

That is, unless there’s a selfie to be taken. Then his training on “risk” and “safety” get thrown out the window, and he’ll kill all you to get that Facebook photo. Risk-based thinking, and all that.

Now the question is, will the training firm that issued Innes’ OHSAS 18000 Lead Auditor certificate revoke it, given Innes’ public revelation that he has nothing but disdain for the profession and the concepts of health and safety? Do they think it’s okay to have a Health and Safety auditor running around, showing their logo, while he’s displaying a disregard for human life that could only be exceeded if he were the one wearing the big, explodey boomjacket? Who are we kidding, he’s likely to get promoted to run BSI. Maybe if he burns a few orphanages or engages in some war crimes, he’ll land a job with UKAS.

Ironically, Innes accidentally created a scenario where, for the first time, the public wished the hijacker had blown up the plane, if only to clean the world of one more self-obsessed narcissist.

If you needed any more evidence that ISO auditing attracts the absolute bottom-of-the-barrel dregs, well, now you’ve got Exhibit A: Ben Innes.

 

About Christopher Paris

Christopher Paris is the founder and VP Operations of Oxebridge. He has over 30 years' experience implementing ISO 9001 and AS9100 systems, and is a vocal advocate for the development and use of standards from the point of view of actual users. He is the author of Surviving ISO 9001:2015. He reviews wines for the irreverent wine blog, Winepisser.