I’ve completed the presentation materials for a short, 45-minute ASQ dinner presentation entitled “Three Steps ASQ Must Take To Become A Member-Focused Organization,” so am inviting one plucky ASQ Section to dare the Milwaukee HQ and book it. My earliest availability is likely September, because so far ASQ has not been entirely successful in destroying Oxebridge, despite their earnest attempts.

Regardless of my snark in this announcement, the presentation itself is actually a brief and sober examination of what’s ailing ASQ, and then three things ASQ can do, right now, to provide tangible critical services to members. It’s not an anti-ASQ gripe session, but an earnest proposal of how ASQ can work best to benefit the profession.

The problem has been that ASQ views the members as commodities, rather than people who it must serve. A few simple changes can adjust this thinking, without inhibiting their current sales and marketing efforts, while resetting ASQ into a “Serve First” organization.

As with all my ASQ events, I am respectful and thoughtful, and no watermelons will be smashed with a mallet, as much as I’d like to. To be safe, bring a poncho in case you sit in the front row, and I will bring my colored suspenders.

But wait, there’s more! ASQ and the US TAG 176 team are busy working to ban me from appearing at any event, anywhere in the country, so it’s time to see how successful they’ve been. Any upstart ASQ Section that wants to host this event can expect nasty emails from the usual trolls (certificate mill operator Daryl Guberman, ASQ Fellow Bill Levinson and the Elsmar gang, who I now refer to collectively as “Gubsmarlev”) as well as some from the ASQ home office, urging them to cancel and accusing me of international war crimes or something. So the mere scheduling of the event will likely to be a litmus test on how Sections can stand up to Milwaukee, and will be an interesting spectator sport in and of itself. It’s a grim state of affairs that HQ is forcibly taking over each Section’s funds, and it will be worse if they are now dictating Section event schedules.

I’ve already been invited to submit a proposal to the San Diego Section, and did so, but no word back if they have accepted yet. (And, having typed that, SD is now getting hate mail from the “Gubsmarlev” consortium.) So the invitation remains open. If your ASQ Section would like to enter the Thunderdome and have me present this discussion at your next dinner meeting, drop me a line.

About Christopher Paris

Christopher Paris is the founder and VP Operations of Oxebridge. He has over 30 years' experience implementing ISO 9001 and AS9100 systems, and is a vocal advocate for the development and use of standards from the point of view of actual users. He is the author of Surviving ISO 9001:2015. He reviews wines for the irreverent wine blog, Winepisser.