[Adult language warning, because reasons.]

As expected, Lorri Hunt and her consultant pals are already cashing in on their move to push forward on a revision to ISO 9001, over the official objections of ISO member nations.

In March we’ll have yet another “ISO 9000 World Conference” — although now it’s been awkwardly rebranded as the “ISO 9000 & Audits World Conference” — and it’s set to show Hunt and her friends using the upcoming revision to generate a few quick bucks.

The conference costs… well, a lot of money. I can’t make heads or tails of the final costs, so here’s a table showing the various options you get to buy, and their costs (source here):

Again, that is pretty goddamned expensive.

And look who’s cashing in on the revisions! Hunt, of course, is giving multiple presentations on the new standard, including the above-mentioned $795 presentation on “Future Proof your QMS.” Elsewhere, the site also reveals she’s presenting a discussion on “Upcoming ISO 9001 Revision: Separate the Facts from Fiction.” I bet the name “Oxebridge” gets muttered a few times throughout, along with some f-bombs.

Oh, yeah, we can totally trust Hunt to tell the truth about stuff. I mean, she has no conflicts of interest, right?

We’re not done. Without a shred of self-awareness, Hunt is then presenting on the subject of “Maintaining the Integrity of ISO 9001: Drafters, Auditors, and Users.” Because nothing says integrity more than having the “drafters” of ISO 9001 ignore five whole fucking votes telling them not to update the standard, and then updating it anyway so you can make a few bucks.

Good lord, she really is a horrible, horrible person. Every year I don’t think I can loathe her any more, and every year she surprises me.

Abbott & Costello Meet ISO 9001

Not to be outdone, US TAG 176 Chair Alan Daniels will be presenting alongside his conjoined twin Buddy Cressionnie on the updates they are forcing through for AS9100 as well. Daniels still presumably works at Boeing — where they like to crash airplanes — while Buddy just finally quit Lockheed and started his consulting company.

(I love how all these clowns continue to use photos of themselves from 100 years ago, hoping we won’t notice that when they strut on stage, they look like a live-action recreation of Day of the Dead. Hopefully, Hunt will wear her wig this time, so the children aren’t frightened.)

This is no surprise, of course. This same set of cronies has been doing this for years and years. They intentionally muck up ISO 9001 and As9100 and then conveniently sell consulting services, seminars, and training classes to clarify all the things they personally screwed up. ISO and ANSI, meanwhile, sit back and make money publishing the resulting standards, so have no interest in enforcing the rules that say consultants are not allowed to dominate any of these proceedings.

Joining them at this cavalcade of corruption is Denis Devos, who’s just a full-on asshole and looks like that guy whose head exploded in Scanners, and Robert Freeman, who is already capitalizing on the addition of “climate change” in ISO 9001, by giving a speech on.. .well, “Climate Change and ISO 9001.” What a set of absolute chudbuckets.

So, there you have it. Exhibit number 10,677 on why you can’t have nice things when it comes to ISO standards. So long as these consultants are running the show, you won’t have standards that make sense, and you’ll have to pay a lot of money to decipher the damn things.

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ISO 14001 Implementation